Rethinking Anxiety: A Trauma-Informed, Culturally Rooted Approach to Healing

If you live in Oakland, you already know how beautiful and complex this city is.The stress of high living costs, working high-demand Bay Area jobs, the demands of parenting, community violence, systemic pressures, inequities. Daily life in Oakland, CA, can leave your body feeling like it's never allowed to rest. You're constantly adapting, scanning, adjusting, accommodating. You're trying to be everything for everyone.

As an anxiety therapist in Oakland, I see every day how much people feel overwhelmed by fear, tension, or dread. Awareness, though, isn’t enough to automatically rewire the nervous system. My hope is that this guide helps you understand what your anxiety is, where it comes from, how it shows up in your body, and how anxiety therapy can support real healing.

You could also explore: You Understand Anxiety—So Why Are You Still Struggling?  An Anxiety Therapist in Oakland Explains

Why Anxiety Feels Overwhelming: It's Not Just Worry. It's Your Body Trying to Protect You

Many people think anxiety is "being worried" or overthinking, but anxiety is far more complex than just your thoughts. Anxiety is your body's natural physiological response. So what does that mean?

Anxiety is your nervous system trying to protect you. Your nervous system activates when it senses a threat. However, the mind doesn't always know the difference, especially if your body learned early in life that the world wasn't predictable or safe because you grew up with:

·        emotionally unavailable, stressed, or overwhelmed caregivers

·        unpredictable or unstable family or community

·        immigration stress

·        financial pressures and poverty

·        cultural expectations to stay strong or self-sacrificing

·        microaggressions, racism, or discrimination

The problem is that your nervous system is now reading everyday stress as danger, so it reacts too quickly and too intensely.

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Imagine a parent who knows the world can be dangerous and goes above and beyond to protect their child: hovering, monitoring, stepping in at every sign of risk. They become a helicopter parent out of love and worry, not because the child is actually in danger. Your nervous system works in a similar way. It's not trying to harm you; it's simply being overprotective because that's the strategy it learned.

So, maybe anxiety has become the quiet hum under your everyday routine. Maybe it spikes at night when everything slows down. Perhaps it shows up as irritability, emotional overwhelm, or a sense that you're constantly bracing for something bad to happen—even if nothing is actually wrong. You know you're safe, but still don't feel safe. When anxiety becomes chronic, the stress response doesn't shut off. Your body stays in a survival state: tense, alert, bracing, scanning. And then you feel guilty for "overreacting" or wonder what's wrong with you.

But nothing is wrong with you. Your body is doing exactly what it learned to do to keep you safe.

Why Your Body Won't Calm Down Even When You Know You're Safe (Polyvagal Theory)

One of the most common things clients tell me is:

 "I know I'm safe. I understand where my anxiety comes from. I just can't get my body to calm down."

This makes perfect sense.

Polyvagal theory explains wonderfully why this happens: your nervous system gets stuck in patterns that once protected you. Even when you're safe now, your body's reaction sticks.

Your nervous system has several survival states:

·        Fight (you feel angry, irritable, alert)

·        Flight (you’re overthinking, overworking, or having a panic attack)

·        Freeze (you’re shutting down, feeling numb or dissociated)

·        Fawn (you avoid conflicts or people-pleasing).

If you grew up around chronic stress, strict parenting, cultural pressure, or environments shaped by racism or trauma, one or more of these responses may have become your baseline.

What happens then?

·        Your brain's alarm system (amygdala) fires faster.

·        Your body releases cortisol more easily.

·        Your system anticipates danger even when nothing is wrong.

This isn't overreacting—it's adaptation.

You could also explore: When It’s Not Just Stress: Recognizing Everyday Signs of Unresolved Trauma In Trauma Therapy in Oakland

When the World Feels Overwhelming: The Different Forms Anxiety Can Take for People in Oakland

Generalized Anxiety

Generalized anxiety (GAD) isn't just "worrying too much." Yes, your mind worries a lot more than most people's. But you worry about almost anything, most of the time, and it often feels impossible to control your thoughts. The funny thing is that you cannot tie these worries to anything specific, actually. Your thoughts jump from health, relationships, or work to everyday stuff. You feel on edge and get tired easily. You find it almost impossible to relax, and can't remember the last time you had a night of good restful sleep. You know this constant tension is out of proportion to what's actually happening, but there's not much you can do to shut it off or control it.

Social Anxiety

Do you feel overly self-conscious around others, as if all eyes are on you? Do you often think, "I'll say something wrong and embarrass myself. Everyone will see that I'm a fake." Does even a simple interaction make you blush, shake, struggle to breathe, or feel your heart pounding?

It's natural to feel butterflies before speaking in front of a group. It's normal to get nervous before giving an important presentation at work or to have trouble sleeping the night before a big interview, your wedding day, or any meaningful event. We've all been there at some point. But for people with social anxiety, even the smallest everyday interactions, like a brief chat with a neighbor, can feel overwhelming. It's this persistent fear of being judged, criticized, or seen as "not good enough," that can make even simple things feel terrifying.

Existential Anxiety

Today's world is sometimes just too much for our nervous systems. The constant demands of modern life can keep your body in a state of heightened alert. The ever-present technology makes it hard to disconnect. Spending too much time on social media may leave you feeling lonely and inadequate. The nonstop news about political conflict, global crises, and environmental disasters. Financial strain and work-life imbalance. Racial stress. Limited access to culturally competent care… If we don't know how to set boundaries, all of this can fuel a constant sense of dread. Over time, these external pressures can drain your energy and leave you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or burned out.

Postpartum and Parenting Anxiety

You recently gave birth. You know that you're supposed to feel happy, excited, and relaxed with your new baby. But you don't. Instead, you feel exhausted, worried all the time, and somehow even disconnected from your child.

Pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting can cause big shifts in your mood. Many new parents, especially moms, feel sad, guilty, overwhelmed, or unusually irritable during this time. You may have difficulty sleeping (even when your baby is asleep) or making decisions. You may be feeling on edge and unable to enjoy your new role. These experiences are more common than most people talk about, and they're absolutely valid.

But if you notice that you're too exhausted, that you're constantly worrying, checking, overthinking, or imagining worst-case scenarios, it may be postpartum or parenting anxiety. You may have intrusive thoughts about your baby's safety. Or you may fear that you're doing everything "wrong," or never enough for your child. Over time, this level of pressure can lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout — especially when you're trying to meet everyone's needs while ignoring your own.

Anxiety in Men

Many men come to anxiety therapy in Oakland saying things like, "I'm always angry." "I can't relax." "I shut down during conflict." "I feel nothing." They never mention anxiety, though.

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You were taught not to ask for help, not to talk about your feelings, and not to show vulnerability. So, over the years, anxiety gets buried under things like:

·        explosive anger

·        irritability

·        numbness

·        perfectionism

·        workaholism

·        emotional distancing

·        emotional shutdown

If growing up was challenging or stressful, you may have built your life determined not to repeat what you came from. You want to stay in control, so you would never feel helpless again.

Anxiety in Families of Immigrants

Whether it's to escape poverty, flee a war-torn country, or create a better life for themselves and their children, about 100 million people in the world have migrated to another country, according to the American Psychological Association.

Many immigrant families rebuild their entire lives from scratch, sacrificing their own dreams so their children can have more opportunities. But a better life in a new country doesn't begin once you land. It often requires years of hard work, financial strain, navigating unfamiliar systems, learning a new language, and constant pressure to succeed.

If you're the parent, you may have adopted the belief that you're self-sacrificing—especially if you left behind a stable life, an extended family, or a familiar culture so your children could have a better future. This may be why you feel chronically exhausted, hypervigilant, and overaccommodating, and why you have a persistent sense of "never enough," no matter how much you achieve. At the same time, you struggle with homesickness, underemployment, and cultural isolation. For most people, these are the experiences that can quietly fuel anxiety and depression.

Meanwhile, children adapt quickly to the new culture. They speak the language fluently and understand the norms. If you're the child, you may have had to take on adult responsibilities early—translating documents for your parents, handling paperwork, making appointments, and navigating systems. Many first-generation kids grow up faster than they should, taking on adult responsibilities too early.

In households where mental health is stigmatized or misunderstood, talking about anxiety or getting help may feel shameful or "unnecessary." So, you learned to keep your struggles to yourself. None of this means that something is wrong with you or your family. These pressures can leave many people feeling overwhelmed, even when they're doing everything "right."

Anxiety in BIPOC Communities

For many BIPOC individuals, anxiety is shaped by racial trauma, day-to-day microaggressions, and systemic pressures that your body has learned to brace against. You might have grown up navigating extra hurdles to reach academic goals, stay socially connected, find stable work or housing, and maintain healthy relationships. Over time, this can keep your nervous system on high alert. It's constantly scanning for threats, anticipating judgment, and feeling chronically exhausted.

And yet, instead of seeking help, many people in BIPOC communities carry these struggles alone. Whether because of stigma, limited access to culturally responsive therapists, or a lack of understanding about mental health, many people decide to stay silent or turn to self-medication. This isn't a personal weakness. It's the body finding ways to protect itself from real, ongoing systemic harm.

You could also explore: Is It Work or Is It Anxiety? How High-Pressure Jobs Keep Women and BIPOC Professionals Stuck in Overdrive

Trauma and Anxiety: How They Intersect

You may think, "I'm anxious, but I don't have trauma." because most people think of trauma as big, catastrophic events. But trauma doesn't have to be caused by massive traumatic experiences such as abuse or a large-scale natural disaster. Trauma is anything that overwhelms your nervous system, like growing up with a stressed or emotionally unavailable parent, microaggression, immigration and cultural pressure, attachment wounds, or being overly responsible at a young age.

Trauma changes how your nervous system processes information. It makes you more sensitive. Edgy. Alert. In Oakland, where many families carry intergenerational trauma, anxiety often has a much deeper root.

You could also explore: You Made It Through, but Something Still Doesn’t Feel Right: Unpacking Trauma with Trauma Therapy Oakland

Why Certain Times of Year Make Anxiety Worse

Seasonal shifts affect anxiety more than most people realize. People in Oakland may experience more anxiety during wildfire season, election cycles, darker winter months, or the holidays (think of all that family pressure, financial stress, and, for many, grief anniversaries).

These moments activate old emotional patterns. Holidays may surface childhood wounds. Fire season brings existential fear. Winter intensifies blues and loneliness. Seasonal stress can amplify what's already inside. And it's one of the reasons many clients seek therapy during specific "peak stress" times.

You could also explore: Feeling Lonely and Anxious This Holiday Season? Discover How an Anxiety Therapist in Oakland Can Help You Reconnect 

How Anxiety Therapy in Oakland Helps You Heal

Healing doesn't mean forcing yourself to "calm down" or "stop thinking negatively." Healing with anxiety therapy in Oakland is about retraining your nervous system to feel safe again. We work with both your body and mind so that your system can slowly shift out of survival mode and into a place of safety and steadiness.

This might include psychodynamic therapy to explore attachment wounds, and culturally responsive care that respects who you are and what you have lived through. With time, you can start to understand your patterns with more compassion, identify and reduce triggers, learn and practice boundaries, and move out of chronic hypervigilance.

You are not meant to carry all of this by yourself. With the right support, your nervous system can learn to rest, feel more present and grounded, and build a sense of safety. Your anxiety can soften, and you can begin to feel like yourself again.

Author Bio:

Anxiety Therapist Oakland

Lara Clayman, LCSW, is a trauma therapist in Oakland, California. She helps clients process trauma and reconnect to their nervous systems while developing a felt sense of safety. She specializes in anxiety therapy, online therapy, multicultural mental health, counseling for men, parenting support, and climate distress.

Learn more at www.laraclaymantherapy.com.