You Understand Anxiety—So Why Are You Still Struggling? An Anxiety Therapist in Oakland Explains
Photo Credit: Unsplash on 5/7/2025.
If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve already done your research. You’ve read the articles, listened to the podcasts, maybe even tried therapy before. You know the signs of anxiety—the racing thoughts, the tight chest, the way your body tenses up before your mind even registers fear. You’ve downloaded the meditation apps, practiced the 4-7-8 breathing technique, and tried journaling. And yet—despite all that knowledge—anxiety still hijacks your body at the worst possible moments. Maybe it shows up as insomnia before a big meeting, or a panic attack in the grocery store checkout line, or a wave of dread that crashes over you for no clear reason.
As an anxiety therapist in Oakland, I hear examples like these every day. Here’s what I want you to know: This is completely normal. Understanding anxiety intellectually doesn’t automatically rewire your nervous system. Insight is powerful, but it doesn’t replace the deep, embodied work of regulation. Think of it like this: If you sprained your ankle, reading about physical therapy wouldn’t heal the injury—you’d need to actually do the exercises, rest, and let the tissue repair. Anxiety works the same way.
The truth is, anxiety isn’t just a thought pattern—it’s a physiological response shaped by your lived experience. And if you’ve been living with chronic stress (like financial insecurity, caregiving burnout, or workplace discrimination), unresolved trauma, neurodivergence, or systemic pressures (such as racial stress or LGBTQ+ discrimination), your nervous system may be working overtime just to keep you safe. Your body isn’t overreacting—it’s adapting to what it’s been through.
You’re not failing. You’re human. And healing isn’t about “fixing” yourself—it’s about learning to work with your nervous system, not against it.
An Anxiety Therapist in Oakland Talks about What Anxiety Feels Like When You Live in Survival Mode
For many of my clients in Oakland, anxiety isn’t just an occasional visitor—it’s a constant hum in the background of their lives. It’s the soundtrack to their days, shaping how they move through the world. It shows up in ways that might feel familiar:
A racing mind that won’t shut off, even when you’re exhausted. You lie in bed replaying conversations from five years ago, mentally drafting emails you’ll send tomorrow, or catastrophizing about unlikely future scenarios.
A tight chest or shallow breathing, like you’re bracing for the next crisis. Even when nothing’s wrong, your body feels like it’s on high alert.
Irritability or emotional overwhelm, because your system is already maxed out. Small frustrations—a loud noise, a delayed BART train—feel like the last straw.
Hypervigilance—scanning for threats, even when you’re “safe.” You notice exits in every room, anticipate others’ moods before they speak, or feel on edge in crowded spaces.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Living in a high-stress environment (whether due to trauma, systemic oppression, or the relentless demands of modern life) can keep your nervous system stuck in fight-flight-freeze-fawn mode. For example, if you grew up in an unpredictable household, your brain may have learned to anticipate danger as a survival strategy. Or if you face microaggressions at work, your body might stay tense as a way to protect itself.
And when survival mode becomes your baseline, even small stressors can feel intolerable. A missed deadline, a disagreement with a partner, or an unexpected bill can send your system into overdrive—not because you’re “overreacting,” but because your body is trying to protect you based on what it’s learned. That’s not a personal failing—it’s a sign that your nervous system is doing its job too well.
The Nervous System and Anxiety: Why Some People Feel It More Intensely
Anxiety isn’t distributed equally. Some people’s nervous systems are more reactive because of:
Chronic stress (financial insecurity, caregiving, workplace discrimination). For example, a single parent working two jobs may live with elevated cortisol levels for years, training their brain to expect constant demands.
Trauma history (childhood adversity, racial trauma, PTSD). Research shows that traumatic experiences can physically alter brain structures involved in fear processing (NIMH, 2023).
Marginalization (the cumulative toll of systemic racism, sexism, ableism, or LGBTQ+ discrimination). Studies on “weathering” confirm that chronic exposure to discrimination accelerates physiological stress responses (APA, 2022).
Neurodivergence The neurodivergent nervous system is often more sensitive to sensory input, making things like bright lights, background noise, or social expectations feel overwhelming. This can keep the nervous system in a heightened state of alert. On top of that, the chronic stress of being expected to mask or “fit in” to a neurotypical world — along with the emotional toll of marginalization — can significantly increase baseline anxiety levels for many neurodivergent people.
Neuroscience helps explain why:
The amygdala (your brain’s alarm system) becomes hypersensitive, firing off danger signals even when there’s no real threat. Imagine a smoke alarm that goes off every time you toast bread—that’s what an overactive amygdala does.
The vagus nerve, which regulates relaxation, may be underactive, making it harder to “come down” from stress. This can feel like being stuck in a loop of tension with no off-ramp.
Polyvagal theory (Porges, 2011) teaches us that trauma and chronic stress can keep the nervous system stuck in defensive states. Instead of fluidly shifting between calm, alertness, and rest, it gets “trapped” in survival mode.
This isn’t a flaw—it’s an adaptation. Your body learned to stay alert because, at some point, it had to. But the good news? Nervous systems can be retrained. With patience and the right tools, you can teach your body that it’s safe to soften.
Why Anxiety Isn't Just in Your Head: An Anxiety Therapist in Oakland’s Take on Body-Mind Connection
You can't think your way out of anxiety because anxiety isn't just in your thoughts—it's stored in your body's cellular memory. Consider these common experiences:
Your chest tightens before your mind registers worry during a work presentation
A song or smell triggers nausea and a rapid heartbeat because it's tied to a painful memory
"Just relax" feels impossible when your shoulders are perpetually hunched near your ears
This is the body-mind connection in action. Research from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) shows that trauma and chronic stress alter not just our thoughts, but our physiology—changing our stress hormone levels, muscle tension patterns, and even digestion (NIMH, 2023).
Many clients tell me: "I know rationally there's no threat, but my body won't listen." This disconnect happens because:
“The body keeps the score” (van der Kolk, 2014): Trauma and stress live in our nervous system long after the triggering event passes
Thoughts and body sensations operate on different timelines: Your prefrontal cortex (rational brain) might understand you're safe at work, but your limbic system (emotional brain) still reacts as if you're in danger
Cultural conditioning teaches us to ignore bodily signals: We're rewarded for "pushing through" discomfort rather than honoring our limits
That's why somatic approaches are so effective. In my Oakland Therapy practice, we might:
Notice how anxiety manifests physically (tingling hands? clenched jaw?)
Use gentle movement to discharge trapped energy
Practice orienting to the present moment through the five senses
The Problem With "Just Think Positive" and Other Quick Fixes
Wellness culture loves to sell us quick fixes that often do more harm than good:
"Just breathe!" (As if you haven't tried that in so many different ways)
"Manifest positivity!" (Which can feel like gaslighting when you're facing real systemic barriers)
"If you wanted to heal, you would." (Ignoring how poverty or discrimination limit access to care)
The American Psychological Association (APA) acknowledges that anxiety disorders are influenced by biological, psychological, AND social factors—not just "mindset" (APA, 2022). For example:
A black client's hypervigilance about racial microaggressions isn't irrational—it's a reasonable response to their lived experience
A single mother's nighttime anxiety about bills reflects real systemic gaps in social support
An immigrant's social anxiety may stem from actual experiences of exclusion and isolation and now the very real fear of deportation
Healing isn't about forcing optimism. It's about:
Honoring your lived experience without judgment
Building tolerance for discomfort (not eliminating it)
Finding regulation tools that work for your nervous system—what calms one person might overwhelm another
How Anxiety Therapy in Oakland Supports Nervous System Healing
In my practice, we move beyond "talk therapy" to address anxiety at the nervous system level. A typical session might include:
✅ Co-regulation – Simply sitting with a calm, attuned therapist helps reset your nervous system's baseline. Many clients say "I feel safer just being here."
✅ Body-based tools tailored to your needs – For trauma survivors, we might start with grounding techniques before attempting deeper work. For ADHD clients, we may incorporate movement.
✅ Cultural and social context – We'll explore how systems of power impact your anxiety. A Latina executive's imposter syndrome hits differently than a white male colleague's.
✅ Slowing down – In our productivity-obsessed culture, we'll practice the radical act of pausing without self-criticism.
The goal isn't to erase anxiety (because stress is part of life), but to help you:
Recognize early warning signs before overwhelm hits
Expand your window of tolerance for difficult emotions
Develop self-advocacy skills in relationships and work
Real-Life Support for High-Stress Lives
Between sessions, small, sustainable practices help build resilience:
5-minute grounding when overwhelmed
Feel your feet on the floor
Name 3 safe objects in your environment. 3 things you can move or touch and 3 sounds you can hear
Place a hand on your heart with gentle pressure
Self-compassion breaks
Try saying: "This is really hard right now. I'm doing my best with what I have." or encourage yourself by showing yourself compassion. Think or say outloud: “It’s okay I’m feeling overwhelmed.” or “I am safe.”
Movement as release
Shake out your limbs like a dog shaking off water
Stretch with a focus on releasing rather than perfect form
Walk while noticing colors around you
For marginalized and overburdened clients, healing isn't about adding more to your plate—it's about micro-moments of restoration that fit real life:
A teacher of color might build in 30 seconds of mindful breathing during transitions
A nonprofit worker could practice sensory grounding during their bus commute
A new parent might pair diaper changes with a quick body scan
Why Choose Anxiety Therapy in Oakland?
Oakland is a diverse and dynamic city, and therapy here reflects that richness. Working with a therapist who understands the unique cultural, social, and professional pressures of the Bay Area can make a significant difference. In our sessions, we tailor approaches to fit your specific context, ensuring that strategies are not only effective but also relevant to your life. You are not broken - You’re human.
Taking the Next Step
If you're ready to move beyond understanding anxiety to truly transforming your experience of it, therapy can be a powerful ally. With the right support, you can move from surviving to thriving, self-judgment to self-understanding and isolation to connected resilience. Therapy with me will honor your whole story - body, mind and lived experience. We’ll create a healing plan that fits: we can explore the roots of your anxiety, develop tools to address it, and work towards a life where anxiety no longer holds the reins.
Contact me today for a free 15-minute consultation. Let's begin this journey together.
Author Bio
Lara Clayman LCSW Therapist in Oakland
Lara Clayman, LCSW, is an anxiety therapist based in Oakland, California. With a compassionate and holistic approach, she helps clients navigate the complexities of anxiety, offering tools and insights to foster resilience and well-being. She specializes in online therapy, trauma, multicultural issues and anxiety. Learn more about her services at www.laraclaymantherapy.com.
