Trauma, Anxiety, and Your Nervous System: Healing and Understanding Yourself with Trauma Therapy in Oakland
In trauma therapy in Oakland, we often talk about how your body has its own memory and it is especially great at remembering what your mind tries to forget. Living in place like Oakland, while beautiful in its richness and diversity of people and places - the Bay Area is a hard place to live. Full of daily stressors like commuting and traffic, pressure from work and family obligations - the “smallest” thing and tip us over into a state of overwhelm. Many of us live in a constant state of overwhelm and have trouble getting back to baseline.
You may feel you are overreacting to minor or unexpected events throughout your day, feeling more upset than you think is justified and struggling to calm your nervous system down. These reactions are not personal flaws. They are signs that your nervous system has become dysregulated and that your nervous system is working to keep you safe.
Understanding your nervous system is a powerful tool to help with healing anxiety and trauma because it helps you see your reactions as intelligent survival responses rather than personal deficiencies.
The Vagus Nerve: Your Body’s Built-In Safety Switch
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The vagus nerve runs from your brainstem down through your heart, lungs, and gut. It’s like highway between your brain and body that carries signals between your heart, brain and digestive system. It regulates your facial expression and tone of voice, how you connect socially, your heart rate and digestion. It’s like a conductor of an orchestra. When it functions smoothly, your internal instruments—your heartbeat, breath, digestion, and emotions—are in harmony. You feel balanced, present, and at ease. But when trauma or anxiety disrupts the conductor, there is discordance and your internal instruments start playing out of rhythm. Your heart races when it doesn’t need to, your digestion slows, your breath becomes shallow, and everything feels a bit off-key.
The vagus nerve, while fine tuned, can misinterpret external signals sending it into survival mode, making you feel unsafe even if there is no real threat or danger. Trauma and anxiety can be psychological but also physiological. While you may get stuck in a vagus nerve survival state, you can find your way back to safety.
Your Nervous System Is Like a Traffic Light: A Signal with Three Distinct States
Polyvagal Theory
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Polyvagal Theory, developed by Stephen Porges, is rooted in neuroscience and describes how the autonomic nervous system, especially the vagus nerve, regulates our physical and emotional states.Your nervous system constantly scans the environment through all of your senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch) looking for signs of safety and danger. You are continually taking in information through your physical body and this largely happens outside of your own awareness. Your body and brain are working together to keep you safe all day long!
Deb Dana expands on polyvagal theory with her work on the Rhythm of Regulation She teaches us how our body is scanning for cues of safety and danger in service of our own survival and how this can lead us to feel safe and secure or like we have to run, fight, or shut down. Often when trauma is triggered we move into a dysregulated state. While it doesn’t feel good, it is actually okay. Understanding how our body works can help us move back into a state of regulation. The goal is not to avoid dysregulation (something that is impossible), but rather to recognize when this is happening and find ways to bring ourselves into a stay of calm and connection (with ourselves and others).
This framework can be really useful in helping us both better understand some of our patterns of behavior and mental health challenges, how to support our nervous systems and interrupt cycles we feel we don’t have control over.
A quick and oversimplified high school science recap - In any give moment, we can move between three different states. Deb Dana, helps us understand how the body responds to stress and trauma through three primary states. You can think of them like a traffic light guiding your body’s responses.
Green light – Ventral Vagal State: Green means “go”. When your body signal is a green lisht, you feel “safe and social” - ready to engage with others, connect, create. Your parasympathetic or “rest and digest” nervous system isin a relaxed state - you feel safe in the moment: your breathing is easy, your heart rate is steady, you are present and can respond with ease to others.
Yellow light – Sympathetic State: Your are vigilant in this nervous system state. Yellow means caution and get ready to act if necessary. Your body’s “alert” mode has been triggered because it senses potential danger and your nervous system has moved into a state of “fight or flight”. You may feel your body tense up, your heart races and your attention narrows as your body prepares to fight or flee.
Red light – Dorsal Vagal State: Red is a state of “shut down” or collapse when faced with extreme danger. Your body switches into shutdown mode when it perceives that fight or flight isn’t possible. When we feel unable to escape the danger, the red light signals to your nervous system to “stop”. You may feel numb, disconnected, or immobilized because your nervous system is trying protect itself in the midst of overwhelming stress. This state can look like despair, utter hopelessness, being cut off from yourself and others. There is a longer way to go toward regulation when you are in this state.
Like a traffic like that changes from one color to the next, our nervous system is designed for us to be able to move in and out of different nervous system states throughout the day in service of our own survival. These adaptive responses are designed to keep you safe and are neither “good” nor “bad”. Throughout the day, we naturally shift between these states—sometimes subtly, sometimes dramatically. Trauma can make it harder for the nervous system to move fluidly, causing you to get “stuck” in yellow or red light modes. Recognizing these states is the first step in understanding your body’s responses and reclaiming a sense of safety and regulation.
Why It’s Normal to Get Dysregulated: It’s Not Your Fault
When something overwhelming happens like relationship stress, a traumatic accident or growing up in a environment under chronic stress -your nervous system goes into protection mode. You body’s alarm system may begin to get triggered very easily as a result of learning to anticipate threat even when the danger has long since passed.Your nervous system was designed to stay tuned to threat as a way of protecting you.
Deb Dana talks about how both external and internal triggers and cause nervous system dysregulation. Here are some of her commonly cited examples:
External Causes of Dysregulation:
Abrupt or unexpected changes in environment – Unpredictable situations, sudden and/or loud noises, chaotic spaces..
Interpersonal stress – Feeling rejected or misunderstood, conflict with coworkers, family or friends.
Overstimulation – Sensory overload from too much sensory input (sights, sounds, smells, etc.), like bright or rapidly changing lights, too many people and crowded places, bright lights, or heavy social interaction.
Trauma reminders – Anything that that recalls a traumatic event from the past (often unconsciously like subtle sounds, smells, or gestures.
Internal Causes of Dysregulation
Physical states – Illness, hunger, pain or fatigue affect your resilience.
Strong emotions – Fear, sadness or anger, fear, or sadness can move the nervous system into fight or flight (parasympathetic) or shutdown (dorsal vagal) states.
Cognitive patterns – Self-criticism, catastrophizing or obsessive thinking/ruminating increase and reinforce stress on the nervous system.
Deb Dana reinforces that dysregulation is normal and adaptive and that being aware of triggers and knowing co-regulation strategies is key to bringing your nervous system back into ventral vagal (regulated) states.
Finding Your Way Back to Calm: How Regulation Feels in the Body
When you return to a regulated (ventral vagal) state, you may feel yourself soften and relax. You may find tension in your shoulders lessen, an easing of your breath, and your stomach unclenching. You may also feel more settled, mindful and open to connection.
There may still be stress, but you are regulated in the midst of it all and feel as if you can meet the challenges before you without losing your connection to yourself and feelings of calm. You may still get upset, but you can recover more quickly. Being in a state of regulation is like your internal home base and is a place you come back to again and again, even if you get dysregulated.
Just naming where you are—green, yellow, or red light—is a powerful way to begin reconnecting with your body’s cues. Awareness is the first bridge toward healing.
You can also pay attention to the times when you feel the most safe and open in your body. What sensations let you know you are calm? What do you feel in your body when you are starting to shut down or feel angry or frightened?
Ways to Re-Regulate Your System
Tending to your body when it is dysregulated can help heal anxiety and trauma. There are specific strategies you can use to activate the vagus nerve and restore a sense of calm and safety. Here are some polyvagal exercises to try when you are aware you’re about to become dysregulated or are already in fight/flight or shutdown mode.
Simple, gentle movements can activate your vagus nerve. You can try:
The “Basic Exercise”
Butterfly Tapping or Bilateral Stimulation: Cross your arms over your chest, resting your hands on your upper arms. Gently tap or pat your arms in alternative from side to side in a soothing, rhythmic pattern while taking slow, deep breaths. Focus on comforting yourself with your hands and breath and bringing your attention into the present when your mind wanders. This soothing rhythm can help calm the nervous system and bring awareness back into the body—especially when you feel anxious or disconnected.
Yoga Poses for Grounding: Child’s pose, Legs up the wall, eagle pose or mountain pose all activate the parasympathetic nervous system.
Co-Regulation and Connection
Our nervous systems talk to each other. Have you ever noticed you may feel calmer in the presence of certain people? Since we’re wired for connection, sometimes another person can help us move back into a regulated state. This is called co-regulation. Seek out a friend, therapist, partner or pet and feel their calm presence.
Nature and Rhythm
Movement like walking or dancing and getting outdoors also support nervous system regulation. We are synced with mother nature so watching or listening to the rhythmic movement of waves or gazing into green space provide signals of safety and comfort that can cue regulation and a state of rest and relaxation.
Trauma Therapy in Oakland: Understanding Your Nervous System and Finding Calm After Trauma
Trauma can leave your nervous system feeling stuck in fight or flight or shut down,but your body is fully equipped with the ability to heal and knows how to regulate its own nervous system. Through anxiety therapy and trauma therapy in Oakland, you can learn to work with your nervous system rather than against it. Gradually, the waves in and out of dysregulation become more manageable and less intense and frequent. Moments of calm, connection, and safety will begin to become more accessible and longer-lasting. Healing isn’t about forcing yourself to “stay calm” or “move on”—it’s about learning to listen to your body’s signals and respond with compassion. By understanding the neuroscience behind trauma and your nervous system and using some of these vagus nerve strategies, you begin to learn and feel that it is safe to come back home into your body.
Trauma Therapist Oakland
Author Bio: Lara Clayman, LCSW, is trauma therapist based in Oakland, California. She helps clients understand and heal from the pain of trauma. She can help you regulate your nervous system and regain your resilience so you can move through feeling stuck and find more ease. She specializes in anxiety therapy, online therapy, and multicultural mental health, counseling for men, parenting support and climate distress. Learn more at www.laraclaymantherapy.com.
