From Fear to Freedom: Healing Panic Attacks Through Self-Compassion and Anxiety Therapy Oakland
When Panic Strikes: An Example from a Therapist in Oakland
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It starts subtly—maybe a tightness in your chest, or a sudden rush of dizziness. Your heart skips a beat, then another, and then it’s pounding so hard you can feel it in your throat. No matter how deeply your try to inhale, it feels like you’re not getting enough air.
Your thoughts race uncontrollably: "Am I having a heart attack? What’s happening to me?" My hand trembles, your skin tingles, and a cold sweat breaks out. The room feels like it’s closing in, sounds become muffled yet too loud at the same time.
You try to tell yourself it’s just panic, but logic doesn’t help—your body is screaming danger even though there’s no real threat. Your legs feel weak, your vision blurs, and a wave of nausea hits you. The fear of losing control is paralyzing. "What if I pass out? What if this never stops?"
Time distorts—it could be seconds or minutes, but it feels endless. Slowly, the peak passes, leaving you exhausted, shaky, and embarrassed, even if no one noticed. The aftershocks linger—a tight chest, a sense of dread—but eventually, your breathing steadies. The storm is over… for now. Anxiety therapy in Oakland can help you feel safe again.
What Happens in a Panic Attack? Understanding the Body’s Alarm System
Panic attacks are terrifying, and not just emotionally. They’re deeply physical and can leave you feeling exhausted. Common symptoms include:
Racing heart or feeling like your heart is pounding out of your chest
Difficulty breathing or shortness of breath
Dizziness, weakness or lightheadedness
Chest pain or tightness
Nausea or stomach pain
Sweating, chills, shaking or trembling
Tingling sensation in your fingers or face or numb hands
A sense of doom, unreality, or feeling like you're going crazy
These sensations are so intense, it’s no wonder many people think they’re having a heart attack or losing their mind. And while panic attacks feel dangerous, they’re not inherently harmful. In fact, panic attacks are surprisingly common; studies show that at least one-third of people will experience one at some point in their lives.
Here’s what’s actually happening in the body. Your brain detects a threat — real or imagined — and flips the switch on your fight-or-flight system. Your amygdala (the brain’s fear center) sends a signal to your hypothalamus, which then triggers a cascade of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. This chain reaction causes your heart to race, your breathing to speed up, and your blood to flow toward your muscles. Your body is gearing up to fight or run, even if there’s nothing physically threatening around.
Sometimes, panic attacks are triggered by stress, trauma reminders, or even caffeine. Other times, they seem to come out of nowhere. Either way, they reflect a mismatch between what your body perceives and what is actually happening.
The Vicious Cycle of Panic: Why Fear of Panic Makes It Worse
The panic cycle is self-reinforcing — and that’s part of what makes it so distressing. It usually looks like this:
You feel a physical sensation (like dizziness or a skipped heartbeat).
Your brain interprets it as dangerous (“Something is wrong!”).
This interpretation increases anxiety, which increases the physical sensations.
You do something to try to escape (leave the room, avoid the freeway, call a friend).
The panic subsides, and your brain associates relief with avoidance.
You become more afraid of the sensations returning — and may begin to avoid things that seem related to the panic.
For example: Imagine a woman who recently experienced a panic attack while riding on BART in Oakland. She felt her heart racing and became dizzy. She was overwhelmed by the thought, “What if I faint? What if I can’t get off the train?”
After that episode, she begins to avoid taking the train altogether. Instead, she asks friends or family to drive her, or she only takes the train during less busy hours. When she does ride the train, she always sits near the door and carries a bottle of water, convinced these “safety behaviors” would protect her if panic struck again.
These strategies, while understandable, are reinforcing her fear. Each time she avoids the train or clings to her safety items, her brain learns that the train is dangerous and that she needs these behaviors to feel safe.
Panic disorder develops when the panic begins to interfere with everyday life. Maybe this woman stops visiting friends across town or begins to decline social invitations that require public transit. The panic attack that began on a single train ride quietly takes over much of her life — because her body and mind is stuck in the panic cycle.
Over time, people who have panic disorder start organizing their lives around preventing panic. That’s completely understandable — who wouldn’t want to avoid that terrifying feeling? But unfortunately, this serves to reinforce the idea that the sensations are dangerous, and makes panic more likely in the future.
How to Break the Cycle: Self-Compassion and Staying with Your Experience
The key to healing panic isn’t avoiding it — it’s gently staying with it. This doesn’t mean forcing yourself to suffer, but rather learning to be present with your body without panicking about panic. I know this is incredbily hard to do, but you can learn how with patience and practice. You must start with self-compassion. Panic attacks feel awful — physically and emotionally — but they don’t mean you’re weak or flawed. They mean your nervous system is overwhelmed. And treating yourself with kindness in those agonizing moments is necessary for healing to happen.
Here are some strategies that can help:
Name It
Recognizing that “This is a panic attack” can defuse the fear of the unknown. Try saying to yourself, “I know what this is. It’s panic. It’s scary, but it’s not dangerous. It will pass.” Panic attacks generally last 5-10 minutes but can go on for longer. The key is remembering that your anxiety can’t remain at such a heightened level forever.
Slow Your Breath
Panic leads to rapid, shallow breathing, which can cause lightheadedness or tingling. Try lengthening your exhales. You want your exhale to take longer than your inhale. Try gently pursing your lips when you exhale as if blowing out of a small straw:
Inhale through your nose for 4 counts
Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6–8 counts
Repeat for a few minutes
4-7-8 Breathing is another version where you hold your breath inbetween the inhale and exhale for 7 counts
Five finger breathing engages breath and body. Hold one hand out in front of you. Use your index finger of your other hand to trace up your thumb while breathing in. Then down the other side as you exhale. Continue tracing each finger while breathing slowly in and out until you get to the outside of your hand.
This helps activate your vagus nerve and shift your body into a calmer, parasympathetic state. If it’s too difficult to focus on your breath, then find other ways to get into your body.
Use Grounding Techniques
The goal is to try to stay in your body exactly where you are. You are brining your awareness back to the present moment. It’s important you don’t engage in mental avoidance by imagining you are somewhere else or plotting your escape route. If you are able to do so try the following:
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Gently snap a rubber band on your wrist
Hold something with texture
Hold ice in your hand or run cold water over your hands
Do a body scan
Stretching or move your body
Try progressive muscle relaxation
3-3-3 Method: Name 3 Things You See, 3 sounds you hear and move 3 parts of your body.
Press your feet firmly into the ground and notice your body’s weight.
Try polyvagal yoga poses like legs up the wall, child’s pose or eagle pose
Grounding distracts your brain from panic by forcing it to focus on sensory input and breaks the cycle. You are trying to interrupt the fight-or-flight response by engaging your mind (logical thinking) and your body. You can do grounding techniques anywhere and often without others noticing. Pairing these techniques with deep breathing further calms your nervous system.
Talk to Yourself Kindly
Instead of fighting the panic or judging yourself, try saying:
“My body is doing what it thinks it needs to do to protect me. I’m not in danger. I’m safe right now.”
It may feel unbearable but remind yourself you can ride it out and probably have done so before. In the longer term, you will want to focus on practices like mindfulness meditation and other lifestyle adjustments to reduce your overall anxiety.
Facing the Fear: Why Avoidance Feeds Panic
One of the hardest — but most healing — parts of recovering from panic is learning to stop avoiding the sensations and situations that feel scary.
Avoidance gives temporary relief, but it strengthens the fear. Avoidance strengthens fear because it teaches your brain, "This situation really was dangerous—look how hard I worked to escape it!" Every time you avoid a trigger, you reinforce the false alarm, making the fear feel more real and powerful next time. But gradual exposure (like staying in a panic-inducing place until your anxiety drops by 50%) rewires that response, proving to your nervous system, "I can handle this, and the threat isn’t lethal." It’s like un-learning a reflex—the more you practice, the weaker the panic becomes.
(Example: Avoiding elevators after a panic attack keeps the fear alive, but riding one for just 10 seconds—then 30, then a full minute—shrinks the terror over time.)
By gently and gradually exposing yourself to feared situations, you teach your brain that these sensations aren’t dangerous.
Therapy can guide this process in a safe, supportive way. But even on your own, small steps matter:
Stay in the grocery store for 1 more minute
Drive a familiar route without turning back
Sit with the sensation of a racing heart without rushing to calm it down
You’re not pushing through — you’re staying with. You are literally facing your fear! That’s where the healing happens.
Should I Rule Out a Medical Condition First?
Yes. Before assuming what you're experiencing is panic, it’s important to talk with a medical provider — especially if it’s your first time feeling symptoms like chest pain, dizziness, or shortness of breath. Drug and alcohol use can also be associated with panic disorder.
Many people go to the ER during their first panic attack, and that’s understandable. Getting checked out can actually help reduce anxiety in the future because you’ve ruled out other causes. You deserve to feel confident about what’s happening in your body.
Once medical causes are ruled out, you can begin working with a therapist on the emotional and physiological aspects of panic.
How Anxiety Therapy in Oakland Can Help You Heal from Panic
Working with a compassionate therapist in Oakland can help you understand what’s fueling your panic — and how to gently loosen its grip.
Effective therapeutic approaches include:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – Helps identify and change catastrophic thought patterns that fuel panic
Somatic Therapy – Builds awareness and tolerance of body sensations
Mindfulness-Based Approaches – Teach present-moment focus and nervous system regulation
Brainspotting or EMDR – If your panic is trauma-related, these methods can help process and resolve deeper fear responses
Psychodynamic Psychotherapy - Help you understand explore the underlying roots of panic
In therapy, you’ll learn to decode what your panic is trying to tell you. You’ll also build tools to calm your nervous system without needing to escape or avoid your life.
What About Medication? A Therapist in Oakland’s Thoughts
Medication can be an important part of treatment for some people, especially if panic attacks are frequent or debilitating.
Common options include:
SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) – These are often prescribed long-term and can help reduce overall anxiety and panic symptoms.
Benzodiazepines – Fast-acting medications that may be used short-term or situationally, though they carry risks of dependency and are generally not a first-line treatment alone.
The decision to use medication is deeply personal. Many people benefit most from a combined approach: therapy + medication. Your therapist is there to support you in exploring what feels right for you.
When to Reach Out for Help: Is Anxiety Therapy Oakland For You?
You don’t have to wait until panic is interfering with every part of your life to get support. Therapy can help at any stage — whether you’ve had one panic attack or you’re living in daily fear of another.
It might be time to reach out if:
You’re avoiding places, people, or situations out of fear
You feel like you’re “going crazy” or losing control
You’re constantly checking your body for signs of danger
Panic is affecting your work, relationships, or sleep
You feel ashamed, isolated, or overwhelmed by your symptoms
How Anxiety Therapy in Oakland Can Help You Feel Safe Again
Panic attacks can shake your sense of safety and control — and they can also become the doorway to deeper healing. What if your panic isn’t a sign that something is wrong with you, but a sign that your body is asking for attention, care, and understanding? With support from me, you can learn to stay with your experience — to breathe through it, to make sense of it, and eventually, to no longer fear it.
If you’re looking for anxiety therapy in Oakland, or want to work with a therapist in Oakland who understands what panic feels like and how to gently work with it, I’m here to help.
You don’t have to face this alone. And you don’t have to fight your panic — you can learn to meet it with compassion.
Ready to Find Relief from Anxiety? Let’s Take That First Step Together
If you’re navigating anxiety, panic, or the feeling that life is just too much right now, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself. As a therapist in Oakland, I offer a warm, culturally responsive space where your full self is welcome: your fears, your strengths, your story.
Together, we’ll explore not just how anxiety shows up in your life, but why—and we’ll work toward relief that’s rooted in clarity, self-compassion, and resilience. Whether your anxiety feels like anxiety attacks, a racing heart, constant worry, emotional shutdown, or pressure to hold it all together—I’ll meet you where you are. Let’s talk and see if working together will help restore calm and reconnect to your resilience.
Lara Clayman, LCSW, is an anxiety therapist based in Oakland who offers inclusive, client-centered therapy for multicultural adults—including BIPOC, multiracial individuals, and male survivors of childhood abuse who have broken the cycle of violence. Her approach weaves together somatic awareness, practical tools, and deep empathy to help clients reconnect with themselves and move toward healing.
Learn more about Anxiety Therapy, or explore her work in trauma therapy and culturally sensitive therapy and online therapy in California.
